Flere Steven Wright one-liners

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not right now."

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... Perhaps you've seen it.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?